Just a few things you should know first:

My photo
I love writing, and writing is what I do best. Everyone has their own inspiration and a way to deal with emotion, and my outlet is writing and music. Music is my calm, my happiness, my sadness and my life. I love music, I listen to it all day everyday. I have been writing since I learned how to make sense of all the things going on in my mind. My writing is how I get everything I feel out in the open. When I create a character I feel like I put myself in their shoes, like I vicariously live through them... I wouldn't have it any other way because to me it makes them seem more relatable. Without my writing and music, I would be a lost soul... It is who I am. My name is also Katy Brooks, though it is not my real name, it who I will be known as from here on out.

18 April 2010

More Lyrics.. Of Course

This time the song is by The Temper Trap its called Down River

I really enjoy this song... The guy's voice and the way this song is pieced together.


The Temper Trap - Down River:

Finally, we have seen some things
Some awfully nice, some dreadfully bad

But we will sing.
Wash the blood, off our knees
Cause our love breaks through ruff seas, our ship will sail it

I, don't, understand how this world will work
Cause time will tell us nothing and I'll take a chance on something

Fill them up, this time take you

Down river

Walk these stairs put the pieces back together

Go, don't stop
Now go..

Finally, we have seen some things
But bells in your hallways
Don't move you in the right place

But we will sing.
Wash the blood, off our knees
Cause our love breaks through ruff seas, our ship will sail it

I, don't, understand how this world will work
Cause time will tell us nothing and I'll take a chance on something

Down, river.

Go, don't stop.

Enjoy!

-KBM

16 April 2010

Stress.

So lately I have been stressing out so much, it is ridiculous. I have been breaking out bad because of it too...

Thing have not been going well softball wise these past couple of weeks... well this past month. We have been losing and never really stopped. Things have not been going the way they were suppose to, but I guess that is life/reality..

I have been really busy with softball and caught up in all of the negativity of it all that I have forgotten to enjoy the things that make me happy: Music and Writing. I was so damn stressed I couldn't even listen to music, but I stopped caring and worrying..

I am good now, but softball is still rocky and I have a feeling that it is going to stay that way, unfortunately. I only have a couple weeks left and I will be able to go home and start over next year.

I have found some new things that interest me and make me laugh. One of those is Glee...

I love this show, seriously, it is so great. Something about watching the awkwardness and harsh world of high school on my screen while these kids sing is so satisfying. Awesome. This show is so precious.

Anyways, we have this weekend off because of rain and what not. So I am going to stay in, watch some Glee, listen to some music and write a little to stay relaxed. :D


- KBM

07 April 2010

Goodnight Moon

Here are lyrics to a new song that I am obsessed with. Way obsessed with.

It is by Go Radio so go to their myspace (myspace.com/goradio) and listen to it and also order their new EP!!

This song is called "Goodnight Moon":

Don't go to bed yet, love
I think it's too early
We just need a little time to our selves
If my wall clock tells me that it's 4 in the morning, I'll give it hell

Cause I've been trying way to long to try and be the perfect song
When our hearts are heavy burdens
We shouldn't have to bear alone

So goodnight moon and goodnight you
When you're all that I think about
All that I dream about
How I'd ever breath without, a goodnight kiss from goodnight you

The kind of hope they all talk about
The kind of feeling we sing about
Sit in our bedroom and read out loud, like a passage from goodnight moon

And sing for me softly
Let your song for tomorrow tell me, my name's the one that's hidden in there somewhere?
And drink for me anything but dream and in color about we know the sun's still rising and we don't care

Cause I've been trying way too long to try and be the perfect song
When our hearts are heavy burdens
We shouldn't have to bear alone

So goodnight you and goodnight moon
When you're all that I think about
All that I dream about
How I'd ever breath without, a goodnight kiss from goodnight you

The kind of hope they all talk about
The kind of feelings we sing about
Sit in our bedroom and read out loud, like a passage from goodnight moon

And there you were, now saw my Juliet
Come graceful down the stairs
It's hard to miss the way her eyes light up the room
And steal the air

Just feel her lips locked on to every breath I take
Can't breath, and do you feel us falling?
Cause I feel us falling

So goodnight moon and goodnight you
When you're all that I think about
All that I dream about
How I'd ever breath without, a goodnight kiss from goodnight you

The kind of hope they all talk about
The kind of feeling we sing about
Sit in our bedroom and read out loud, like a passage from goodnight moon

And there you were, now saw my Juliet
Come graceful down the stairs
It's hard to miss the way her eyes light up the room
And steal the air

Do you feel us falling
Cause I can feel us falling
Do you feel us falling
Cause I can feel us falling


- KBM

25 March 2010

Comtemplation

I am currently laying in bed just thinking.... (this is what I normall do because I don't sleep well, so I lay here and think)

I am thinking about my life and what I am doing.

Yesterday was the time in a long time that I have shown so much passion for softball. Yesterday I played with a broken finger and it was so damn painful but I can't remember the last time I cared this much to push through. I mean I have pain and I have always pushed through but yesterday was different... I felt like it was the game that I fell in love with years ago. I don't know if this will last but it's the first time I have felt like it is all going to be OK.

You have to realize that this doesn't happen for me, especially in softball. I am saying that I enjoyed doing it and looked forward to keep playing.

I am hoping it stays so I can get that competitive strive back and effin win.

See I'm getting excited just thinking about it. :)

Have a great day and stay blessed. Don't take anything for granted. You never know what you have until it's gone.



- KBM

22 March 2010

Accidents

This post will not be very long due to the fact that I am currently typing with my two pointer fingers...

My middle finger on my left hand broke yesterday during my game. Shit shit shit. It was awful...

Sigh. I am not going to be out for any games... but I am going to have to be cautious because my trainer is very weary about where I broke it... we have to wait a week and see... fail.

Hoping it heals!

Here is my 2nd "accident" this week.

I got in a wreck. I am okay, my car has a little dent... my poor baby... But no one got hurt. Both cars are still drivable and look in normal shape...

So that is all I am going to release about that!

Stay blessed and safe y'all!


- KBM

16 March 2010

RALLY TIME!!

We did it last year and we can do it again!!!!!


Attention all Chuck fans!!! It is time to rally, as Josh Schwartz said on twitter, it is time for us to organize! We need a season 4 and we are going to stop at nothing to get it!

NBC isn't going to help us in promotion either, so we need to attack blogs, websites, and all things internet. ASAP!! We need to spread this show and get our viewers back! Nielson ones first though.

We need to convince as many "important" people as possible that this show is worth saving and we loyal fans don't want to see it go!

We have not failed the show thus far and we don't plan on stopping at all!!

LETS DO THIS!

Rally time starts now, and it won't stop until we get an announcement for season 4!!!

So start blogging, tweeting, facebook posting, convincing, and if you know how to hack websites: hack em' and give them some Chuck spam!!!!!


Let's unite to save our show!

- KBM

15 March 2010

Finally...

I finally decided to share some new information with my family... its pretty deep and I am nervous to know their reaction!...


BUT!!! ON A GREAT NOTE!!

My aunt is currently preggers and she found out today she is having another baby girl!!! awwwwwwww They want to name her Olivia Marie ... so presh!!

I am so excited!


OH BTW - It is spring break and our softball team (me) are the only people left on campus... Our coach made us stay and practice 3 times a day. 8 am, 10 am, and 3 pm. BOOOOO It sucks. I want to celebrate spring break like a normal college student. Sigh.

BUT Everything is well and Chuck is on tonight! YAY!

Stay safe and blessed!

- KBM

03 March 2010

More 'Charah' Art



My newest Chuck and Sarah picture art.

This is from Chuck vs. The Fake Name.

The moment Sarah thought she was going to die, so they both got one last look at each other... If any fan ever doubted that they love each other then all they need to do is look at these pictures and they will be proved wrong.


- KBM

PERSPECTIVE!

This is post I unfortunately did NOT write.


This post is by Rich aka AgentChuck003.

This proves to all of you who think he is some crazy shipper, who hates where Chuck and Sarah have gone and don't believe in the show anymore, wrong. He had this AMAZING perspective and all I have to say is WOW! He nailed it on the head and made Shaw and Hannah make sense. I now feel like a fool for not understanding. He emailed me and this is what he had to say:

Hi Kate,


This is my new persepective on the Fake Name.


I think the reason why Sarah is not kicking ass and both Chuck and Sarah are OOC is because the writers want to portray that both Chuck and Sarah are trying to be people they are not. Sarah is trying to be Sam? Or whatever she thinks a real girl should be but she wants to be anybody but Sarah Walker. The problem is that Chuck is not there to guide her. Shaw is just manipulating Sarah and he is using the situation with Hannah and Chuck to do that. She gave the name reveal because she is desperately trying to be someone else. Being Sarah Walker is a painful memory because she feels she lost Chuck Bartowski and she doesn't recongize Charles Carmichael. Her running to Shaw is her trying to burn that bridge to what she wanted with Chuck. Last episode her model home burned down. Shaw is only a temporary Shack shielding her from the rain.


Now Chuck he tried to run into the arms of another brunette because he also has low self esteem and he thinks Sarah rejected Charles Bartowski after the Prague incident. He tried to be Charles Carmichael but that seemed to fail because he even said it last episode I did all this for her. What he did is change into something he is not and in the process he was grasping on to anyone who would show him so love. You don't think Chuck is about to have an emotional breakdown like Sarah. He lost Sarah when he chose to be a spy, he lost the connection with his sister, he is losing his best friend, he barely has a connection with Sarah and now Devon doesn't even want to know about his dual life. Chuck is also lost and so he runs to anyone who doesn't know he is a spy, hence trying to start a relationship with Hannah. He is a hell of of a guy living a hell of a lie, Not flashing to save Sarah is a big sign that Chuck has lost it.


The problem is only Chuck knows the real Sarah/Sam and only Sarah truly understands everything about Chuck Bartowski Real guy and Spy.


When these two are together and clicking they are unstoppable but right now they are two fake names trying to live other people’s lives.


Hopefully the beard they both realize that they both screwed up and they actually clean up this mess.


I still don't like the name reveal but I get that it is supposed to show us how broken these two people are. Sarah so broken she is willing to say screw it and for Chuck to see that she would confied in Shaw and that her love or lack there of is a rude awakening to Chuck. I don't think Chuck finding out about this thing with Shaw would have snapped him out, it had to be something so jarring that it would shake the very foundation of all he has believed. Hopefully his little bearded buddy helps him come out of the dark and Sarah sees that she really is Sarah Walker kick ass spy in love with Chuck Bartowski another kick ass spy. I am ready for this party to get started.


The first 8 episodes were the set up now it's time for the pay off.


Rich is very wise and has some major perspective. He just wants Chuck and Sarah together... He is not the crazy shipper you all think he is... or he used to be...


Bring on 3.09


-KBM

02 March 2010

Chuck thoughts...

Okay so every Chuck fan knows that these past two episodes have been hard to watch... Being a huge Chuck/Sarah shipper it was hard to watch these two characters go their separate ways.


Just a note: I liked this past episode. We saw character growth and some step backs, and maybe realization. I am not critiquing the episode or talking bad about it. This is just how I feel and I am not trying to persuade you to feel the same...

Just a few things that got to me:

1) The moment Chuck lays his eyes on a new brunette he is sold... once again. Dumping everything he had with Sarah, or could of had with Sarah. After Sarah showed all of this compassion for Chuck in the previous episodes. Seeing Hannah and Chuck swoon over each other made me kinda want to vomit. HA. With that said, maybe it was only me but, they're slow kisses and pecks seemed awkward and I hope that was done on purpose. I felt with Chuck, that Hannah was not the right girl for him.

2) Sarah and Shaw. As a viewer I don't see or feel the chemistry AT ALL. Using the excuse the he saved her life is total BS and I am not having that. OR using the excuse that he "defended her honor" by punching the assassin. Chuck has saved Sarah and they just threw it under the rug... SO if they are going to try to force this relationship, I need a little more...

3) The name reveal. In Chuck vs. The Wookie, which is a scene we all remember, where you see Sarah truly falling for Chuck by revealing her middle name Lisa. Now she couldn't say her middle name to Chuck but Shaw who has only been here for a few episodes gets to know it before Chuck, the guy she was willing to throw EVERYTHING away for, the man that she loves. I am a big time SW Fangirl and everyone knows that... I just don't see how that worked. I get that she is SO lost and confused with Chuck changing and everything but to tell Shaw of all people seems heartless and thoughtless... Maybe that is just me. (The fact that Yvonne is the one who chose Sam as SW's real name is seriously rad, makes me love the name even more).

4) Chuck and Hannah. Chuck goes for Hannah, and I like Hannah and her character but I hate Chuck right now. I hate that I don't like him. I hate that he sleeps with another character, therefore ruining the "love" he is suppose to have for Sarah. Honestly, I don't feel bad for Chuck... I felt bad for Hannah being played like that. Poor girl.

I will say this: I miss the Chuck and Sarah from the first part of the season. They agreed to be friends, but we have not seen them really talk or try to be friends... Maybe it is because Chuck is changing and Sarah can't deal with it. BUT I miss their conversations!

Ali Adler did a great job writing this episode. My heart broke for Sarah and it still hurts for her. Poor girl misses her old Chuck and everything he stood for. She is clinging onto what real life she can/would of had by revealing her name. The only problem I had with that was the she ran into the arms of Shaw. (Don't get me wrong I think Brandon Routh is way sexy but his acting is awful, same expression for each emotion) Maybe it is the he acts that makes us viewers hate him. If this guy was like Cole or Bryce I still would not of been okay with Sarah revealing her name to either of them. But that is just me being a shipper!

Another note: I get that Sarah really has no one else to talk to and she is not afraid "to go there" with Shaw because of that common ground, but she revealed her name so easily and so smoothly that it seemed so easy for her and she had all of these issues letting Chuck in and even letting him know her fake real name is Jenny Burton.

I did enjoy this past episode because we FINALLY got to see the jealousy from both Chuck and Sarah... Sarah giving that look when Casey "he must of gotten lucky". I missed that look! Then the realization to Chuck that he loves Sarah and that Hannah was not the girl for him. Finally realizing that he still loves Sarah (making Hannah's character pointless).

Here is me hoping that Sarah gives Shaw the boot in a not very nice way... The moment we saw in the preview "Sarah do you love me" part, I hope that is not a negative moment either. Maybe it's a slow moment, anything but a 'no' will be fine with me. All I need is a little romance. I also would love to see Chuck finally fighting to get Sarah back, she needs to see it and so do I! :D

As much as I haven't really liked where they are taking the characters, I know that it will all smooth out and everything will make sense again in Chuckverse... For now I am along for the ride and there always has to be pain before happiness, especially with Chuck and Sarah. They always have to make all the wrong decisions before making the right one. The payoff is what keeps me wanting next week to keep coming!

I am super stoked for 3.09! Chuck not being able to flash, and someone finding out! YAY! BRING IT ON!! (still hoping for a little Charah romance!)

So Chucksters enjoy what we have. I know that Ali Adler was not throwing it in our faces of us shippers, she was telling us to wait, we will all get what we want. The line "I get so tired of the will they won't they, just end it already" seems like a foreshadow for the line "Sarah, do you love me?" Maybe that is Chuck's way of ending it... Think about all the interviews, tweets and spoilers that have been released and know that we will all get what we want soon!!!

Can't wait til next week, maybe I will post again! :D

-KBM

24 February 2010

A sample!

Here is a sample of my writing. I wrote this paper for my scriptwriting class. The purpose of it was to describe what were were hearing, smelling, and feeling. I wrote about what I heard when I was walking back to my dorm for class.


-------------------------------------------------

The Ambience of Personal Silence

You never know what you’re going to experience when you decide to stop hearing, and decide to start listening. Things seem clearer and life seemed meaningful. With every breath I took and every step I made new sounds were heard; it would appear that things were making since. When I took an oath of a silence for thirty minutes, I heard sounds I had never listened to before. This was a unique silence that was all mine. I started outside…

Through the sound of tires crashing through deep puddles it reminded me that the rain has not only effected my own willing footsteps, but every other moving object on campus. I hear laughing in the distance as it slowly creeps closer, and their eager footsteps have a telling pace. People pass with quiet conversation, a slight detection of nervousness in their voices. Homework, they say, is their main concern.

Walking inside to save myself from the extreme humidity, the air conditioner kicks on as if it read my mind. Friendly people say hello while those who keep to themselves walk by without a sigh, or a simple nod. Once I am alone, I only hear the sound of my Nikes dragging along on the tile, I then realize how annoying it sounds when I walk. Nearing my exit, I am startled by the clanking of the mechanical closet that seems as if it is working overtime to keep people like me happy and cool.

Outside again, the effects of rain strike again and a large, rusted gutter is gushing water with out anticipation. The humidity is causing me to break a small sweat, I feel as if I am in Kansas again, there is no place like home. Walking through the gravel I hear small rocks being crunched while larger rocks are being kicked forward with every stride. One bird chirps, as other birds chime in, in unison as if they were seemingly crying for the same thing.

While basking in the ambience of these birds chirping a loud muffler disturbs me, and the car quickly pulling out while the muffler rumbles, I am not impressed. As one car leaves, it sounds as if twenty more pull in. I inch closer to my dorm as more familiar voices can be heard, and familiar faces can be seen. Laughter, and loud voices remind me that I am close to happiness, and my personal silence is almost over.

I get to the stairs and there is a sound of footsteps eagerly going down the steps, as I move to the side to let them pass. I turn the corner, I am on my floor and I hear my friends greeting me as if I had been gone for longer than a few hours. I get propositioned to go to lunch, and I do not decline. My silence is over, and all of these new sounds I have heard, but I know I won’t listen like I just had a few moments before. The ambience of my personal silence is something I won't forget for awhile.

Explanation...

I feel maybe I should explain a big topic:


My name...

My real name is not Katy Brooks and I have it this way for a couple reasons...
1. My step-dad, who has done more for me than I could ever imagine, his last name is Brooks. He is my dad. He has done so much for me for the 11 years he has been apart of my life that the only way I can think of repaying him is giving his name the credit for any of my work that gets published.
2. My real dad/my real last name will always be my permanent last name... I will never change it on my birth certificate... So my last name will ALWAYS be that.
3. I don't want internet people to know my real information or who I am in real life. So Katy Brooks is who most people on here will know me as, and if any of my writing work gets published it will be Katy Brooks.

I don't want this to cause a problem with my family, whose last name is my real last name. I did this for my step dad, to give him credit for raising me and doing all the things he has done, and will do for me. I do it because I love him and no matter what happens to either of my dads, I will always have 2.

I love my real dad, and I will always. This is not a way to get back at him or any bull shit like that. It is a decision I made awhile back when I decided that I was going to become a writer...

This is the only way I know I can tell my step dad that I appreciate him more than he will ever know. :)

- KBM

Twitter Movement!

Hey y'all! If you are on twitter help us all out!


Go here to check out the Facebook page to help get Chuck's leading lady and the biggest badass on TV: Yvonne Strahovski on Ellen!!

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?v=wall&ref=mf&gid=281897237648

Hashtag your twitter posts with: #YvonneOnEllen!! DO IT!

-KBM

Not too sure...

I have been so busy this past week or so!! Some big things have happened and GREAT things happened and some are still unknown.


One of the bigger things that happened is that I got to see my family this past weekend. They drove down here from Kansas to watch me play and go to my visit with me at Eastern New Mexico. I was so excited to see them that I cried, y'all I NEVER cry when I see them!! It was really emotional. My mom says and I quote "Why are you crying, you don't even like me!" I love her! My brother looked at me like I was an idiot... he loves me. LOL. Anyways, they watched me play and of course I played like total CRAP! Like I have not played that awful in a LONG time... boy was it bad. Anyways, they kept their cool and it turned out to be a great weekend I had with them, and it felt nice to get some quality time with my mom, brother, and grandma.

After my tournament I went to Portales, New Mexico (as I mention in the previous post) I went on a visit there for softball next year.... Well I committed and I sign in April! Exciting!

When I was there for my visit I met the Film professor and we had a nice chat and I emailed her a short example of one of my scripts, so now I am patiently/nervously waiting for her to email me back and tell me what she thinks... I am running out of fingernails to nibble on!! I am so nervous...

I have never had any formal teaching/classes on screenwriting, I have just read and listened to podcasts for the basic information on how to write one correctly. Thank God for Final Draft because that also saved my life! Anyways, I can't wait for her notes and help on it so I can become a better writer. OH I held me first REAL life script last week. It's a script that is currently in pre-production at Clint Eastwood's film company in LA and the movie is about the life of Pinky Wilson. I can't tell you anything about it but it was AWESOME! I was reading the script and I got some much from it!

Anyways, that is all I have right now about me. I have another post about some other things I learned this week. I will save that for another day!

Stay blessed and remember the life you have, you should not take for granted :D

- KBM

22 February 2010

BIG NEWS!!!

So today I committed to play softball at Eastern New Mexico University!!


I am so stoked, I loved the campus and best of all they have the major I want!
-- I talked to some professors and they made me so ecstatic to go to class!

Can it be my junior year yet!?!?!?

- KBM

PS I will do a big update and some more posts soon, I have been lacking!

15 February 2010

ohhh sigh.

This weekend was so freaking pointless!!


My college team drove 11 hours to the southeast corner of Texas this weekend to go play 4 games since our original tournament got cancelled due to snow. We ended up being about 20 minutes from the Louisiana border and it was Marti Gras central down there and that was TIGHT! Too bad we couldn't celebrate...

So we drove down Friday and were scheduled to play Saturday and Sunday... Well Saturday morning rolls around and it is 1) freezing outside and 2) just got done raining. So we got to the field, which happened to be the SHITTIEST field I have EVER played on, did our warm up job and stretching and then our coach says to get back on the bus there is no way we are playing today. The reason being - the field was so AWFUL that when he stepped on the field he sunk. Someone was going to get hurt and he wasn't having it.

To end my story we traveled 11 hours to sit in a hotel room... We didn't even end up playing on Sunday. Sigh...

Though there was one good note about this trip. We all went as a team, all 20 girls our girl assistant coach to go see Dear John. It was a sight to see because during the sad parts, or really kind of the whole movie 18 of us were crying including our coach. At one point most of us were actually sobbing! Great movie, y'all should go see it!

Chat later.

-KBM

10 February 2010

Chuck Fandom

There is no feeling worst than the one that you have when you have been made into freaking joke!


Yesterday the Chuck fandom went a little crazy because we were upset with how an episode went. Most of us just discussed it on twitter. Some of us stayed off the forums and the boards because quite frankly who wants see what is being said there after how the episode went down... Later on in the day Josh Schwartz, Chris Fedak, and Ali Adler all start posting articles to tell us fans to calm down that everything is going to be okay. Schwartz and Fedak even did a follow up interview to reassure that everything will be explained in the coming up episodes. The fandom subsided soon after.

Except for one or two fans who decided that they were going to quit the show. They posted some things for the public to see and now everyone is seeing this fandom as a total joke. The 'anonymous' posters said we should take control and make a statement for the writers to know we were disappointed. No, we will NOT DO THAT!

We are are passionate fans, and 98% of us are not crazy. We were disappointed in the last 10 minutes of the show. The fans that are sane are still going to fight for this show just as hard as we did last year if not harder.

So there is no need to worry Josh, Chris, and Ali because we have your back. Just because we were disappointed with one episode does not mean that we are going to "revolt" and not come back and watch the rest. This has made the fandom even stronger and we plan to fight out the negative press and get rid of these crazies who think we should make a statement! The only statement we will be making is that Chuck needs to get renewed for a fourth season!

Chuck fans unite in order to save the show we love the most!

For those "anonymous" posters, how about you grow a pair and post your name next time? Or you could show you are not a complete coward and come out and say it was you. :)

-KBM

06 February 2010

Trust

At some point in life you will experience what it feels to be betrayed.


Well that recently has happened to me.... Not in the way you think. I wasn't betrayed horribly, but it was subtle enough to make an impact.

I learned who you can truly trust and whom it might be can surprise you.

I found out that I can't trust two of the closest people I am to here at college. I actually learned that it would be one of the last people I would trust here would be the one I could count on the most. I learned who my true friends are and to be honest I am not upset at all! I am happy to know that the last person on this campus would turn out to be the one person I could trust the most.

I made two good friends today and I also lost faith in two others. Today was surprisingly a good day :)

Just remember to always be cautious. I will be now, but I do not regret having to learn this lesson... I am excited for my newly found bonds with the out of the blue connection.

-KBM

05 February 2010

Life.

Life and Regret.


When I look around I see all of these people doing different things with their lives, maybe that being a dead end job, or a job they enjoy. I look at all of these people and I feel as if it is so unfulfilling and it makes me sad. But what do I know? Maybe these people actually enjoy their job and it is everything they want in life...

To me, I want more... So much more. I don't want fame or money. I want to do something with my life that when I wake up in the morning I will look forward to doing. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had done more, or had something different. I want so much in life and when I see everyone else coasting or doing something unfulfilling it gets to me...

I wont spend my days regretting the things I never did. There is so much to have in the world and I want everything I can get my hands on. I want people to know my writing, to know my name as the girl who never gave up on the things she wanted the most.

I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with myself, with my body.

The only way I can achieve any of this is doing it on my own. I don't sit back and feel sorry for myself, only I can make myself who I am. Everything I hate about myself is my doing, and all I want to do is have my own life that is my choice. No matter what life I chose for myself, it is what I chose because I love it.

When that day comes and that realization hits me, it will be one of the happiest days of my life. I can't wait until then.

But, for now... I will enjoy the life and things that I have with a big smile on my face. I just can't wait until I have the life that I choose for myself. I don't want it to seem that I am complaining about my life, because I am not. I am simply saying that in the future I want to have a happy life and never hate one day of it.

I want a life full of fulfillment and joy. Not regret and anger.

-KBM

04 February 2010

Lately...

So Lately not much has been going on in my life... Except the usual. Watch a little TV, reading, homework, softball... the usual.


I figured out that online Meteorology is the hardest class I have ever taken...
My show Chuck keeps getting better. I have also picked up on a few new shows like Burn Notice and Vampire Diaries. I really enjoy these shows!
Oh! I did a podcast too, I have never been a fan of them. But I participated in one and I was pretty stoked about it!
We had our first softball game this week, and we won both! We were suppose to leave tomorrow for a tournament tomorrow in Galveston... but I just found out it is cancelled. So now I am a little bummed... :/
There is a big disappointment when you are all packed and ready to go and have everything in order then you find out you are not going anywhere. Its a total bum factor...
I thought maybe I would try to go to New Mexico to see my 2 year old niece and my aunt and uncle. I miss them. They are my second family. My aunt called me to tell me this story about how Gabriela left her water in the guest room (which is where I stay) and my aunt and uncle asked "Gabs where did you put your water" and she replied with "In Katy's room"! That made me smile. I miss her!! But that won't happen, cause my coach just shot that down... sigh...

I guess it is back to my not so eventful life :) <- something I am content with...

-KBM

22 January 2010

My Sappy Signature

So I made these new Chuck and Sarah pictures that would post in my ChuckTV forum signatures...


I hope you like :D because they took me FOREVER!

Photobucket
Photobucket


The quotes in the photos is a song by A Day To Remember called "Have Faith In Me". I think it is a good Chuck/Sarah song, so you should probably check it out :D

Oh yay, I made this one first... hehehe its a little more humorous!
Photobucket

-KBM

Collegiate Softball

Softball. This is what I pretty much do for a living. I play in College, and I have since I started school. I am on scholarship, so this is my full time job...


I don't see softball in my future, just until I finish College. The only reason why I play is so I can get a free education. So if I don't have to be in debt after student loans, etc... So for four years my life will consist of practice, study hall, team meetings, games, and practice.

My weekly schedule looks a lot like this:
Monday - 5 am weights - 7 am. Class. Lunch. Practice from 2:00-5:30. dinner. TV shows 7-10. Homework. Bed by 11-12.
Tuesday - Class from 9-1:30. Lunch somewhere between there. Practice 2:00-5:30. Dinner. Study Hall 7-8:30. More Hw. Bed by 11-12.
Wednesday - Same as monday except study hall from 7-8:30.
Thursday - Same as Tuesday.
Friday - Same as Wednesday.
Saturday - Sunday = Game's/tournaments.
**We usually have games on Friday and Saturday, and sometimes Thursday and maybe a Monday/Wednesday every once in awhile**
We don't have a free weekend off after next Friday, our first game, (Jan 29th). We don't even get spring break. I am pretty much booked til the end of May.

You could say my life is consumed of being a collegiate athlete....

If I had it my way... I would write all day/everyday. Writing is my passion, and my passion is put on hold a little bit for my free education. This sacrifice I am willing to make. I know in the future I will have been worth it.

-KBM

17 January 2010

Great Song

This song is by a guy I went to high school with. He won most attractive. This song surprised me thats for sure... take a look :D


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nswEjhWUHNM

-KBM

13 January 2010

Charah Theory UPDATED!!!

Okay, so last time I posted about my 'Charah" theory it was way before season three kicked off and I have obviously learned some new details. So here is my updated version.


Sarah got her heartbroken in prague, and we all saw that. It was horrible to watch the once emotionless CIA Agent express her feelings in a matter of a few seconds. Her eyes pleading and begging for Chuck to run away with her. But he left her there, broken. Sarah was once cold and again emotionless in the first two episodes. The part in the "Three Words" with the bow and Model Homes playing in the background was just as heartbreaking, she was so shut off and broken that you could tell her words stung Chuck with every breathe. Chuck didn't stand a chance. He still tried to explain himself and Sarah was not having it, until the last few minutes in "Chuck Versus The Three Words" where Sarah saw him explain himself, and it would seem all if forgiven (all thanks to Carina, who was AMAZING in that episode and I hope she returns in the near future).

Well now, after episode 3, Chuck and Sarah have decided to be friends, which I had predicted would happen. That long handshake they shared at the end of episode 3 still proved they love each other. But Sarah is too scared and too cautious to let her feelings be out in the open again. She is scared to get heartbroken again, obviously. So the wall it took two season's for Chuck to break down is up again. Though I don't think it will take long to knock down again, I hope! Plus we all know Chuck and Sarah can't stay friends without wanting more...

Sarah, no matter who is thrown into the mix, will ALWAYS love Chuck and I will always stand by that theory. Maybe she gets with Shaw (I hope all they do is kiss), but it will be meaningless because he will be the rebound guy because of her fear of wearing her heart on her sleeve. Sarah and Shaw may have a short lived romance, but as spoilers suggest that were released yesterday suggest that maybe Chuck and Sarah elope and run off together, they were on a train, as they had originally planned.

We all we have to suffer through the "trapezoid" of Shaw/Hannah/Chuck/Sarah for a few episodes but I trust the writers and like last season the pay off in Colonel was worth the wait. So sit back, enjoy the ride... The very bumpy/emotional/painful ride of Charah because I can see the pay off this season being SICK!! :) I have a feeling everything we have ever wanted will happen soon enough. Go ahead and hate sexy Shaw, because we probably will because any character that threatens Chuck and Sarah will be hated by most of us. Just be glad we see Chuck punch him in the promo, I bet that will be as satisfying as I think it will be :D!

Thanks for listening to me: The Crazy Psycho Shipper. <- I am very proud of that title :)

-KBM

Testing!

I am currently getting drug tested! This is going to suck cause I don't have to peeeee! Hmm

Don't worry I am clean lol


- KBM

05 January 2010

Temptation

So I am sitting here waiting for the mechanics to change my oil, rotate my tires and change my filters... This coffee keeps tempting me...

The question is; do I give into temptation??

This is so significant: do I give into the smell of hot coffee brewing, I can taste the coffee and it has been at least a month since I have been off of this stuff...

Oh how this temptation is to tempting...





- KBM

02 January 2010

New Chapter

As the days go by, it shows that my final days here in Kansas are ending. The next time I return I will be 20, have an associates degree, and have a very Latina Texan tan :).

I have discovered that returning home only makes it harder and harder to say goodbye... The things I miss and the rare changes that occur, it still gets hard to leave...

Right now for example; I am at my little brothers basketball game and it is the last game I will see til next year... This sadenss me to know that so many things will go by and life will pass before the next time I see another game...

Though it seems like nothing ever changes in my hometown, I miss my brother grow up...

When I leave, my family are no longer known as familiar faces, they become familiar voices... Voices I feel delighted to hear and at some points dread... Hearing thier voices give me a sense of security and relief.

No matter what happens in my life the most consistent thing will be my family...specifically my mom.

Through all the illnesses and injuries, my mom has never doubted me. Never. My mom will be the one person in the world who will be there for me through thick and thin. She is the greatest woman I know and there is no one else in the world like her. She is beautiful, smart, and caring... I could only hope to be a mother like her to my future kids. Regardless of what she thinks, I would love to be just like her.

That's all I really have to say at the moment... Gotta watch my brother play :)

- KBM