Just a few things you should know first:

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I love writing, and writing is what I do best. Everyone has their own inspiration and a way to deal with emotion, and my outlet is writing and music. Music is my calm, my happiness, my sadness and my life. I love music, I listen to it all day everyday. I have been writing since I learned how to make sense of all the things going on in my mind. My writing is how I get everything I feel out in the open. When I create a character I feel like I put myself in their shoes, like I vicariously live through them... I wouldn't have it any other way because to me it makes them seem more relatable. Without my writing and music, I would be a lost soul... It is who I am. My name is also Katy Brooks, though it is not my real name, it who I will be known as from here on out.

05 February 2010

Life.

Life and Regret.


When I look around I see all of these people doing different things with their lives, maybe that being a dead end job, or a job they enjoy. I look at all of these people and I feel as if it is so unfulfilling and it makes me sad. But what do I know? Maybe these people actually enjoy their job and it is everything they want in life...

To me, I want more... So much more. I don't want fame or money. I want to do something with my life that when I wake up in the morning I will look forward to doing. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wishing I had done more, or had something different. I want so much in life and when I see everyone else coasting or doing something unfulfilling it gets to me...

I wont spend my days regretting the things I never did. There is so much to have in the world and I want everything I can get my hands on. I want people to know my writing, to know my name as the girl who never gave up on the things she wanted the most.

I want to be able to look at myself in the mirror and not feel ashamed. I want to look in the mirror and be happy with myself, with my body.

The only way I can achieve any of this is doing it on my own. I don't sit back and feel sorry for myself, only I can make myself who I am. Everything I hate about myself is my doing, and all I want to do is have my own life that is my choice. No matter what life I chose for myself, it is what I chose because I love it.

When that day comes and that realization hits me, it will be one of the happiest days of my life. I can't wait until then.

But, for now... I will enjoy the life and things that I have with a big smile on my face. I just can't wait until I have the life that I choose for myself. I don't want it to seem that I am complaining about my life, because I am not. I am simply saying that in the future I want to have a happy life and never hate one day of it.

I want a life full of fulfillment and joy. Not regret and anger.

-KBM

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