So I am sick again...and my family is pretty much disappointed in me because I didn't play today...
The truth, and the honest truth is that I was afraid to be out on the field and make a mistake because I was not 100 percent today...I was terrified that I would mess up and not be able to perform to my top abilities for my team and not being able to perform for them is not okay. So I sat out, and it killed me, every single second of that game.
I feel that if I can't give my team everything I have then I have no business on that field...what so ever...
But if you look at my families perspective, then you would know that there is always something wrong...if I am not sick, then im hurt somehow...they think that I don't know that. TRUST ME I KNOW!
They tell me that I am going to start dealing with the pain...well heres what I have to say; What do you think I do? I only complain about it until it gets so bad that I cant even play, but until then, I deal with it.
They don't see it...
Yea there is always something wrong, this I know. But damn, I know everything that comes along with being sick or injured...I know that it doesn't look good for other coaches to see me sit out...
I can write what I want on here because I know they wont see it...and I know that this is the most pointless way to get things out, but its better than keeping it bottled in.
This is my outlet and I am their inconvenience... well my problems are MY INCONVENIENCE
Just a few things you should know first:
- Katy Brooks
- I love writing, and writing is what I do best. Everyone has their own inspiration and a way to deal with emotion, and my outlet is writing and music. Music is my calm, my happiness, my sadness and my life. I love music, I listen to it all day everyday. I have been writing since I learned how to make sense of all the things going on in my mind. My writing is how I get everything I feel out in the open. When I create a character I feel like I put myself in their shoes, like I vicariously live through them... I wouldn't have it any other way because to me it makes them seem more relatable. Without my writing and music, I would be a lost soul... It is who I am. My name is also Katy Brooks, though it is not my real name, it who I will be known as from here on out.
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